September 2001 Archives

As many of our readers will be all too aware we are often to be found in the land of CheesyMUD! For those that haven't heard us talk of Cheesy... well it is a cheesy sort of place, were progressing your character is just as important as having a chat to a bunch of people scattered to the ends of the internet.

Anyway, if you were ever interested in joining us there the following links might help.

The CheesyMUD Experience (official web site)

Telnet connection

Or you could fire up your handy-dandy telnet program and head to cheesymud.com port 4001

He said: "You know your fucking problem is your selfish!"

She replied: "Yeah, well, maybe, but that's because that's what I need."

Last night I went to Salv's place and had a BBQ, which was fun, anyway not to bore you with the details we ended up with Richard, Christian, Salv, Glen and myself all playing "Scruples". I feel rather sorry for Glen, having only that evening meet Richard and me. I also worry that maybe he learnt a lot more about us than he had bargained for when he accepted Salv's invite.

Why spinach?

Is it possible to ever accept the inherent contradiction of humanity?

Why can't I remember what my favorite color is?

Does the word 'verlisterly' exist for other people or just for me?

I shuffle my deck of cards and pull three out, giving me the following:

Card 1 reads: "get help". Fine, but I wish it was a little more specific. Which of my problems does it think I should seek for about? Is it referring to the never ending search for meaning and understanding in life. Or perhaps my friends who drive me nuts but I love them anyway. Perhaps it is trying to guide my job hunting efforts. It is ever possible that its telling me how to find love. And where should I seek help? The whole point of consulting the cards was to get some help in the first place. Go figure.

Card 2 reads: "open a drawer". Okay, that's more like it a simple instruction, so I open a draw. There ain't much of interest, mostly its full of old audio tapes that I haven't used for five or so years now. I keep meaning to listen to what's on them, sort them out and throw away the really bad ones. The draw also has a hand full of unused condoms which hold no specific meaning in themselves. I wonder briefly what my mom makes of it when she's spying in my room. Ah well, be prepared (or some such trite).

Card 3 reads: "consult the news". Hmmm. Well I would but I'm being bombarded with it enough at the moment to not need to go out and seek it.

Based I my theory that the opportunities of a life time would always happen to me just after I give up or leave or are in some way not there to have the opportunity happen to me at all I turn over the card on the top of the deck.

Card 4 read: "combine elements". Well duh. Still I'm not sure exactly how. I get the feeling I'm missing something. Again.

Having only ever lived in Sydney I am wondering how one goes about making new friends when moving to a new city, especially when you don't know anyone local at all.

People have loved and lost throughout all time, there have been painful breakups since the word romance was coined. But I'm sick and tired of hearing people that have been through such pain saying things like "It would have been better if I'd never meet him" or "I would rather not have fallen in love at all". Well I say:

"Try living a life without love and then well talk!"

In the New Scientist Newsletter a little while back (18 August 2001) there was an interesting little article about passwords.

"The computer password has become a kind of 21st Century Rorschach inkblot test." states the article, giving four categories in which you fall, "Family", "Fan", "Fantasist" and "Cryptics".

I have about 40 different passwords for various systems and websites. I have at least one that falls into each of the categories, most fall into the "Fan" category.

Everyones talking about it, everyones watching it. Perhaps this is because there is nothing we can do except talk and watch, we can't help the wounded, most of us don't know anyone that might have been killed, or even know someone that knows someone, and yet there is a feeling, a need to be a part of fixing this.

It renews my faith in humanity to see almost the whole world come together as one in sympathy of those that are suffering, and in support of the need to defend liberty.

It is going to be interesting to see what the US does about this, I mean if your going to piss off the biggest, most powerful military machine on the planet then you've got to expect some some form of retaliation. My feeling is that America will want to make sure it is seen to respond and respond in a big way.

I know that there is a way for true good to come of this tragedy, what I don't know is if that will happen.

Well, the final results are that out of the 10 sessions I sat in on 8 of them. I knew there'd be a fair bit of sad stuff (what with AIDS and the general prejudices experienced by gay people) but there was also a fair share of touching moments and a few thought provoking bits and even the occasional element that has me now seriously re-examining my life.

Nothing got less than 3 out of 5 on my score cards and there were a few 5's too.

It was just what I needed a good bit of stimulation to keep the neurons firing.

Now all I've got to do is figure out what to do next...

'SHOW ME YOUR PIC'

Dir: Robbie Baldwin, Australia, 2001, Beta SP, 26 mins

(full house)

score: 5 out of 5

Perhaps this one was a little to close to the mark, but I've got to say it was well done and to the best of my considerable knowledge is was very accurate.

'WEBCAM BOYS'

Dirs: RADD, USA, 2001, Beta SP, 60 mins

(full house)

score: 3 out of 5

I'm still not sure if this was a doco, or just a big ad for some voyeur sites... perhaps it was both. Either way it is kind of interesting being in the voyeuristic audience watching some exabisonits talk about their lives infront of the camera and on the net.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

RAINMAKERS II: TINA MACHIDA IN ZIMBABWE

Dir: Robbie Hart, Canada, 2000, Beta SP, 26 mins

(50% full)

score: 4 out of 5

If you think that you've got problems in your life its good to know you can rely on a doco festival to show just how much worse it is for other people. This is the story of the current struggle for equality for gay and lesbian peoples of Zimbabwe and serves as a reminder that the work is not yet finished.

SCOUT'S HONOR

Dir: Tom Shepard, USA, 2001, 16mm, 57 mins

(50% full)

score: 5 out of 5

A touching tale about a straight twelve year old who is trying get the Boy Scouts of America to accept equally and freely gay people.

One of the elements of this story I found most fascinating was of a man who had been kicked out of the Scouts 17 years ago and had been since then fighting. This is fascinating because he has been in a position over the years to observe the change in the way the media reported his story, from originally siding with the Scouts to more recently condemning the Scouts... does this mean the world is actually becoming a more tolerant place?

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

'SOUTHERN COMFORT'

Dir: Kate Davis, USA, 2000, Beta SP, 90 mins

(50% full)

score: 5 out of 5

This is one of those films that is just amazing, the hardship and struggle that each of the characters has had to go through in their lives is heart wrenching and in the middle of sadness their is love.

This is a touching film and I don't think I can actually describe why, just see it if you get a chance.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

'HOW DO I LOOK?'

Queer film and its audiences

A panel discussion.

I didn't sit in on this session, choosing instead the selfish option of getting some food.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

'WHITE PEOPLE'S BUSINESS'

Dirs: Diana Dacic and Melissa Seelenmeyer, Australia, 2001, Beta SP, 26 mins

(75% full)

score: 4 out of 5

The premiere screening of an interesting film about non-indigenous involvement in the reconciliation movement that among other things asks "Now that we've walked across the Harbour Bridge, what do we do?"

'A FIELD GUIDE TO WESTERN WILDFLOWERS'

Dir: Wayne Yung, Canada, 2000, Beta SP, 6 mins

(75% full)

score: 4 out of 5

A 6 minute kiss of 63 men, with flowers, go figure. Cute, charming and fascinating.

'DIFFERENT SHADES OF PINK'

Dir: Alexander Ku, Australia, 2001, Beta SP, 45 mins

(75% full)

score: 3 out of 5

The premiere screening of a local doco about mixed relationships. This film starts well but I think it got a little tired about half way through.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

'NEED AND WANT'

Dirs: Micki Poklar and Daniela Crocetti, USA, 2000, Beta SP, 35 mins

and

'LESBIANS GO MAD ON LESBOS'

Dirs: Kerry McGibbin and Gabi Kent, UK, 2000, Beta SP, 54 mins

I didn't see either of these. There are two reasons for this, you can choose which one you want to believe. Personally it was a bit of both.

1) I was a bit to docoed out and needed some time to breathe and think.

2) The room packed full of dykes waiting to go in scared me.

Either way it would have been nice to have someone special to hold my hand that night.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

Aging Queers and Teenage Fears

'ABOUT VIVIEN'

Dir: Kathy Sport, Australia, 2000, 16mm, 14 mins

(full house)

score: 5 out of 5

An amazing story about Vivien, a cross-dressing man (or maybe he was transgender, I'm not sure) in the 1950s and the things he had to deal with to live his chosen life.

'OPENING CLOSET X'

Dirs: Max Kelly & Diana Polish, USA, 1998, video, 17 mins

(full house)

score: ?

Damn, in all the confusion I've completely forgotten which one this one was... maybe I'll remember later and be able to put something more interesting here.

'GAY AND GRAY IN NEW YORK CITY'

Dirs: Nicholas Chesla, Cindy Creager and Julie Englander, USA, 1999, video, 22 mins

(full house)

score: 5 out of 5

With the out and proud gay community only really now greying the issue of what happens to older gay people needs to be addressed because despite what the dance bunnys might think gay people don't just disappear after 35.

'YOUTH OUTLOUD!'

Dirs: Becky Burklee and Kathy Hines, USA, 2000, Beta SP, 46 mins

(full house)

score: 5 out of 5

This one hit a few raw nerves. As the only place I've ever been personally been a victim of hate crimes was school, the stories these kids told about their experiences were much more personal.

This film stirred up a bunch of reactions, guilt, fear, sorrow, grief.

Some of the stories were far worse than anything I'd ever experienced and I found myself guilty feeling glad that nothing that bad happened to me and at the same time seriously pissed off that it happens to anyone at all.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

Queer Families

'NO DUMB QUESTIONS'

Dir: Melissa Regan, USA, 2001, Beta SP, 25 mins

(75% full)

score: 5 out of 5

This is an charming doco about three sisters 6, 9, and 11-year-old and their questions and struggle in dealing with their Uncle Bill becoming Aunt Barbara. As always children have a habit of seeing what grown-ups are blind too.

'DESTINY'S CHILDREN'

Dir: Kevin O'Keefe, Canada, 2001, Beta SP, 18 mins

(75% full)

score: 3 out of 5

While a nice doco this one didn't resonate. Sure I felt for the guy who had spent 17 years trying to find a way to adopt children, but, I don't know, there was something missing from the story.

'DADS WANTED'

Dir: Justin Pemberton, New Zealand, 2001, Beta SP, 44 mins

(75% full)

score: 4 out of 5

An insightful look at three different types of gay families.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

'OUT IN NATURE: HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM'

Dirs: Jessica Menendez, Bertrand Loyer & Stephane Alexandresco, UK, 2001, Beta SP, 52 mins

(75% full)

score: 5 out of 5

A matter of fact and graphical doco about homosexual behaviour (which is different from homosexuality) in the animal world. This film takes a even hand to a subject that has in the past been edited out of scientific research.

For some time any scientific research that has dared bring up the subject of homosexual behaviour in animals has also tried to justify this behaviour in various ways, this film looks at these theories and then presents a group of animals in which this is clearly not the case. For example one suggestion was that animals have homosexual sex as a 'second best' when there are no animals of opposite sex around, while perhaps true for some groups of animals it is shown to be not true in all cases.

And so after a rather extensive look at the various different theories and animal groups the doco basically comes to the conclusion that not enough is known to be able to say anything for sure.

It is perhaps the things that the doco does not say that are its greatest message. The doco does not explicitly draw any conclusions about human homosexual behaviour one way or the other, but it does make you think.

'PLUSHIES AND FURRIES'

Dir: Rick Castro, USA, 2001, Beta SP, 22 mins

(75% full)

score: 5 out of 5

A nice fluffy look into the world of plushies (stuffed animals) and furries (people that like to dress up as animals). This fun little film doesn't try to justify this life choice it simple presents it as an option and shows some warm and genuine people dealing with issues like trying to explain it all to mum.

'STEERS AND QUEERS'

Dir: Paula Gauthier, USA, 2000, 16mm, 30 mins

(75% house)

score: 4 out of 5

This is one of those docos that shows a world I hadn't even known existed, that of the gay rodeo. A world were gay guys and galls love being thrown off horses and bulls. Sure it ain't for everyone, but it is for them and its good to see that they can continue to enjoy a part of their life without fear or discrimination.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

'UNDETECTABLE'

Dir: Jay Corcoran, USA, 2001, Beta SP, 76 mins

(25% full)

score: 3 out of 5

Well, okay, not the best film ever made, but still some interesting stuff. This film follows 6 people as they try to combat HIV over a four year period. More than anything its an educational film for people that don't know about AIDS or HIV, of which there are more and more.

The film is one of the depressing ones I was expecting to be part of the festival of the 6 people the film followed, two of them were dead at the end and only two had a viral load at undetectable levels.

The word 'Cured' is not used when discussing HIV, the closest is 'coping well with treatment'.

AIDS has now been around for 20 years, with the first case of diagnosis in the US in 1981. But with the treatments that exist now there is a misconception by the world that AIDS is under control.

After the screening there was a discussion that attempted to bring the issues of the film to an Australian context.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

NIGHT TRADE

Dir: Barbara Karpinski, Australia, 2001, Beta SP, 10 mins

(full house)

score: 4 out of 5

The festival opened with the premiere screening of a short film titled 'Night Trade'. Shows a mans life in Australia now after having fled the war Yugoslavia and explores his work as a gigolo. Half documentary in that the voice over is authentic while the visuals are re-enactments. This work also features Johnnie Cass of Big Brother fame.

KEEP THE RIVER ON YOUR RIGHT

Dirs: David and Laurie Shapiro, USA, 2000, 35mm, 90 mins

(full house)

score: 4 out of 5

The journey of Tobias Schneebaum as a film crew looking to make an interesting documentary force an 78 year old man to re-walk a part of his life he would rather forget.

There's a beautiful scene in the film where Tobias sings a song of the Asmat people and then he translates it:

In the river there is shrimp

We eat the shrimp.

Strangely this film has a lot to say yet the messages it sends don't seem to be the ones the directors had in mind. The film itself seems to almost not hear the message of its subject and keeps bring the issue back to cannibalism even though Tobias himself states that it was such a small part of his life.

For more information about queerDOC 2001 or Queer Screen.

Today is the day that every year always gives me the same uneasy feeling. The "Oh fuck, its September already!" feeling.

After years (well I've been on the net since '95 so I can say years) or searching I have finally found a subject about which the Internet knows nothing. I thought I was close two years back when I jokingly said to a friend "There's probably even websites dedicated to 'Hey Dad'!". Turns out there are websites about 'Hey Dad!', thought strangely their mostly in German, go figure.

But I think I've finally found a hole in the vast sum of trivial that is the Internet. I can't find anything more than a passing reference in the occasional web log to *The Rocket Clock* from 'Playschool'. I mean the search didn't even turn up any decent porn sites!